With Eyes Wide Open
by Bunnylass
Summary: One-shot. Adam POV. Set during Twilight. Missing Scene. Kinda fluff. Suze helps Adam come to a startling realization that leads to him asking CeeCee to the Winter Formal...


_**Disclaimer**_ - The Mediator belongs to Meg Cabot, though I do wish I owned Jesse. And sometimes Adam. :)

_**Rating**_ - T - Just to be safe.

_**Summary**_ - Adam POV. Set during Twilight. Missing Scene. Kinda fluff. Suze helps Adam come to a startling realization that leads to him asking CeeCee to the Winter Formal.

_**A /N**_ - Well, I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to write when I started this out and I know it could be better. Way better. But I just wanted to shuck the idea and I don't want it sitting around in my documents gathering dust. Reviews aren't necessary, but I hope you like it for what it is. :) Happy Weekend, y'all!

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_**With Eyes Wide Open**_

_If the guys at school could see me now_, I smirked to myself, throwing a side glance to the smokin' hot girl sitting next to me on the blanket watching the sun go down.

Suze didn't pay any attention to me, she just kept her head tilted back, enjoying the last bit of warmth on her face and neck. My eyes followed the path down her throat and across her chest to down her body before I realized what I was doing. Or what I was _feeling_. Because _that_, was something that was confusing the crap out of me lately. Not in the, _I don't know what my sexuality is_, kind of confusing! Trust me, I know I'm straight. I wouldn't be able to hang out with Suze and appreciate her beauty otherwise. But confusing because - well I just don't _look_ at her the way I used to. Not like the way I checked her out the first day I met her. A piece of meat I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth into.

Sure at first I was about the crude quips and getting her in the sack. But any person with a half a mind knew I was joking. Maybe not her idiot, steroid-addict brother. But he's so fixated on _me_being gay, he's probably trying to hide the fact _he_ is! Suze knew I was joking. CeeCee knew I was joking. Everyone did! I got more respect for Suze than that. Look, she's hot okay? No doubt about it. And I know, I'd be the envy of a lot of guys at school if they were sitting where I am right now. One in particular. But we won't go there because I've got my doubts about Slater.

So _why_, wasn't I appreciating it as much as I should be?

I sat up from resting back on my palms and locked my hands around my knees. I felt Suze look at me, but I didn't turn and acknowledge it. Eventually the sun dipped down behind the horizon and Suze sat up next to me; still watching me carefully. I raised an eyebrow, trying to pull off the care-free, nothing's wrong, look. I got an F judging by the look on her face. I sighed and slumped forward some more, narrowing my eyes at the water crashing on the sand. Something was seriously up with me. What hot-blooded male would be disappointed sitting next to Suze?! I bet if the infamous '_Jesse_' was here he wouldn't be wasting his time sighing and scowling at nothing.

"What's going on with you?" Suze finally asked when it was clear I wasn't going to be saying anything anytime soon. "You've been acting weird the whole time we've been here."

I shrugged pathetically and turned to look at her. "Do you think there's something wrong with me?" I rushed before I could stop myself.

She burst out laughing as soon as the last word left my lips and I frowned some more. As nice as it is to see Suze smile and laugh for a change, seeing as she's been preoccupied and spaced out the last couple of months, I couldn't be annoyed that she was actually laughing _at_ me. "What are you talking about? Of course there's nothing wrong with you!" She laughed some more, before finally realizing I wasn't laughing with her. She stopped and really looked at me then. "What's this about, Adam?" She put a hand on my shoulder in a friendly reassuring kind of way. It made me feel a little better.

Dropping my hands I turned and faced her. "What would you say if I asked you to go to the Winter Formal with me?" I asked seriously, wetting my lips.

Just like that, Suze went from concerned friend to deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. She opened her mouth a couple of times, not saying anything. I would've laughed if I wasn't completely serious. "I - I - Adam," She started. I raised my eyebrows, not breaking my eye contact. Eventually she sighed and gave it to me straight in true Suze Simon style. "No. I'd say no. I'm sorry. Is that what this is all about? Why you've been acting weird?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, sitting forward, probably looking frantic. "But not in the way you think. The thing is, I'm not bothered. By you saying no to going to the dance with me, I mean," I went on stupidly, falling over my words in the rush of getting them out. No one ever said I'm eloquent. "In fact, I'm relieved! Don't you think that's weird? I should be _bummed_, you know? I just got turned down by one of the hottest girls in school and I couldn't care less!" I ended up laughing.

"Oo-kay, should I be offended?" She smiled, looking more relaxed and relieved. I figured she would be. I knew she'd turn me down, but I was trying to make my point.

I pretended like I needed to think about it for a while before shrugging. "Nah," I smiled, feeling more relaxed myself. "But that's my point, why don't I care? It don't make no sense. And no, I am_not_ gay. Trust me, just because I'm not fully appreciating your hotness, Suze; it don't mean I want Brad sitting there. I just don't get it. So there must be something wrong with me? I mean, if Jesse was here, he'd be ravishing you about now, right?" I grinned wickedly, giving her a mock leering look just to ease the blow.

She looked scandalized and blushed before shoving me. "Jesse's not exactly the _ravish-me_ kind of guy," She sighed wistfully before snapping herself back to the moment. "But I get what you're trying to say. And I think I know what your problem is. Adam . . . What do you see when you look at CeeCee?"

I got that familiar thump in my chest that felt like my heart stopped then started up again at the mention of her name. I've got so used to it when I hear her name or see her, it's second nature and I just ignore it. Just means I need to do more cardio, right? But I frowned at the question anyway. What do I see when I look at CeeCee Webb. Was that a trick question? I didn't get it. I see the same thing Suze does. What everyone else sees.

"Long white blonde hair, purple eyes, creamy white skin - "

"_No_!" Suze interrupted me, shaking her head and making her hair fly in three different directions. "What do you _see_? Have you ever really _looked_ at her? I mean, _really_ looked."

"Yeah of course I have! I've known CeeCee for years, I could point out every freckle across her nose and what she's thinking when she narrows her eyes in that certain way. I know when she's really hurt by something someone says by the way she tilts the corner of her mouth or bites on her lip. I could tell you what her real laugh is and what her false one means. I know that when she looks at the D&G Nazi's she's not mad, she's jealous," I frowned; a sinking realization becoming known the more I went on. "I know how vulnerable she feels with being an Albino . . . but never tells anyone . . . " I trailed off, getting the perfect image of CeeCee in my mind.

I looked then, just like Suze told me to do. I mean _really_ looked.

I saw her when we were in kindergarten and the kids were picking on her. The way I'd walked up to her and in front of everyone, kissed her on the cheek to prove she wasn't a freak and I wasn't afraid to be with her. She shoved me over, staring at me from where I was on my back, looking up at her before running off crying. We were friends by the end of the day and have been ever since. Then I saw her in the hospital, her hair as white as the sheets, her skin a raw red. Her timid smile, but determined stare, not backing down from my horrified expression. I wasn't horrified by what she looked like. I was sad by what she has to go through!

And then I saw her this past year; when she stepped out of the dressing room Gina had shoved her in to with an arm full of clothes. She looked _hot_! The outfit was perfect and she looked uncomfortable and angry. So I offered her to wear it around mine, just to make her feel better. Maybe I really meant it deep down. Maybe I only wanted to be the one to see her in it. Like she was wearing it for _me_. I'd turned away and tried not to say anything else after that. I was just as confused as CeeCee looked! But it stuck in my mind. I saw the lonely look in her eye when Slater would hit on Suze. Or when our best friend would talk about Jesse. How happy she sounds when she does.

The signs were all there! I just didn't _see_ them. Or maybe I didn't _want_ to see them.

"Shit," I muttered, my eyes so wide I felt like they'd pop out of my head. I scrubbed a hand down my face and looked at Suze. She was grinning, obviously knowing something I didn't. "Shit!" I said again, blinking through the haze. "How'd I miss that?!" I thought it as well as said it. How'd I miss the deep look in her purple eyes? Her orange tinted glasses doing nothing to hide them. She has the most amazing eyes. Not just because of the colour, but because of how deep and mischievous they look. She's got a wicked streak, she always has. But not in a mean kind of way. Her humor and wit's her weapon. But nothing shows it more than her eyes do.

"Well, you're a guy for a start," Suze answered patiently, shrugging like it's that simple. "You don't see these things until someones actually points it out to you. Or it's hit you in the face. The question is, what are you gonna do about it?" The look she gave me told me she knew and I shoulda known it too.

"Get us off the beach and in to the warmth of my car for a start," I grinned, jumping up to my feet quickly. I helped Suze up to hers and bent down to pick up the blanket. Once it was free of the sand I stopped and faced down Suze's hard stare. "And I'll ask CeeCee to the Winter Formal. That's a start right?" I wasn't expecting Suze's hug about it, so when my mind finally caught up with me, she was pulling away. "If that's the reaction I was gonna get, I would've done it ages ago!" I laughed, dodging her punch to my arm.

I followed Suze along the beach and up the stairs back to my car. And when I drove her home and watched her disappear in to the house, only then did my nerves start to get the better of me. CeeCee's been my best friend for years! How do I go from that status to something else?

"One way to find out . . ." I muttered to myself.

xXx

I put off asking her for two days.

Suze had been pinching and slapping me when it was just the three of us. She'd turn away to give us relative privacy so I could ask her. I just couldn't do it though. And she was starting to question what was wrong with me. Hell, _I_ was still questioning what's wrong with me! Once I got rid of the beer goggles I was wearing - although I'm sure it's supposed to be the other way around or something - I started to see CeeCee through the eyes of a man and not a friend.

I started to notice the curves she's hides under her bagg-ish clothes, wondering how great she'd looked in a formal dress. I was watching her long slim fingers and the way she holds a pen as she writes something down on her famous notepad. Or the way they fly over the buttons of the keyboard, barely missing a beat. I was even watching the way she tilts her head to the side as she's writing; the twist to her full lips, the twitch of her nose and narrowing of her eyes. I was watching her thick hair and wondering if it's as feathery as it looks and wanting to reach out just to test it. I even missed the way her braces would wink in the light when she smiles.

What sane guy misses a girl having _braces_?!

I knew I couldn't keep putting it off. I got tired of even trying! So, I asked if she wanted to hang out at _The Coffee Clutch_ with me. It's something we do all the time, grab a shake and a basket of fries and dip, laughing and making jokes about the different people in the booths. I figured I'd be relaxed with some food and able to run away quickly if I had to. It was perfect. I didn't need Suze nudging me in the ribs and glaring at me with threatening neck slices to get me to do it. I'm a _man_! Of course I can do it!

" . . . so I told Mr Walden that if he wants me working with Kelly Prescott he'll have to pay a fee, 'cause there's no way I'm having my IQ taken down a few - "

"Wanna go to the Winter Formal with me?" I asked, staring down at the soggy fry in my hand, pulling it apart with my fingers. When I snuck a glance up at my old friend, turned girlfriend interest and saw her fry halted halfway to her mouth, I almost laughed. Sticking the food in my mouth in stead of playing with it - I _was_ brought up with _some_ manners - I waved a hand in front of her face. "Cee? Did you hear me? I said do you want to go to the Winter Formal with me."

Her lips moved, but no sound came out. Until she snapped out of whatever daze she was in. "I'll be right back," She rushed out breathlessly, dropping the fry and grabbing her bag. I watched her briskly walk across the diner and head for the door, rummaging through her bag while she went.

Slumping back in my seat, I pulled my chocolate shake closer to me. "That could have gone better," I muttered, determined not to look up and see what she was doing.

The waitress who'd been serving us walked past my table before stopping and retracing her steps. "Hey hon, you okay? You look like you just got dumped." She said, making my mood _so_ much better. I waved a hand out, muttering something like, _I think I did_, and dropped lower in my seat. She looked at me and took a double take. "You mean that girl that was just sitting here with you? White blond hair, orange glasses? The Albino?" I nodded mutely, playing with a straw wrapper. I looked up when she laughed. "Hon, are you _sure_? 'Cos from where I was standing, the way she was looking at you was anything _but_ her likely to dump you. Trust me, hon; you got it all backwards."

She patted me on the shoulder and walked off with a laugh. I frowned, spinning back around in my seat and looked up to where CeeCee was standing outside the diner, talking on the phone and waving her arms all around. When I looked close enough, I thought I could see a wide smile across her beautiful face. Then she looked up at me and her eyes widened behind her glasses. She nodded along to whatever the other person was saying, answered and shut the phone. Heading for the door to come back in.

I sat back up in my seat and wiped my hands on a napkin to get rid of the grease. And to distract myself. She fell back in to her seat with a breathless apology.

"It's okay," I shrugged, watching her closely. Her creamy white cheeks were hinted with pink, setting off her white blond hair to look like a halo. "I thought you were running out on me."

"What? No!" She quickly exclaimed, sitting forward in her seat; in dumbfounded shock by the look of it. "No, I - I just. I mean - " She stopped with a sigh, rolling her eyes at herself. "I mean, why now? What's changed? Did you ask Suze and she said no? Or is just something to do. I mean, is it a - a - are we going as a - _date_? Or just as friends. Because I need to know, because - because - Actually I don't know why I need to know. In fact, it's not even that important! Don't worry about it."

Watching CeeCee Webb who can knock the floor right out from underneath Kelly Prescott and her band of merry whores, suddenly start stuttering and not look so sure of herself, made any insecurities and nerves I had disappear. She looked even more shocked when I reached across the table and linked my hands with hers, staring in to her eyes. She looked scared. No actually, she look _terrified_! But she didn't back down and I respected her even more for that.

"Adam. What – "

"I'm asking you now, 'cause I've only just seen you," I cut her off, squeezing her hand a little tighter. "I might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I'm no half-wit either. And I _know_ I got some looks," I grinned devilishly, making her laugh and roll her eyes at the same time. "Why wouldn't I want to go to the Winter Formal with the most beautiful girl in school? _On a date_. I might not have seen you before, Cee; but I see you _now_. So . . . Are you going to wound my pride or inflate my ego?"

It only took a second for her answer this time. "I guess I could go with you. At least I'll make you look good." She laughed, picking up a fry and throwing it at me.

I caught it and ate it, grinning around my mouthful. She rolled her eyes again, but the smile never left. And for the rest of the time I sat there with CeeCee, changes going on between us already, I watched her. Seeing the CeeCee I've grown up with, and a whole lot more too. For the first time in a long while, I didn't see the vulnerability she hides so well in her eyes.

_If Suze could see me now_, I thought with a smirk, grinning at my new - girlfriend? - over the top of my milkshake, _she'd be so proud_!


End file.
